Ebook Download , by Ryan DeBruyn Mountaindale Press
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, by Ryan DeBruyn Mountaindale Press
Ebook Download , by Ryan DeBruyn Mountaindale Press
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Product details
File Size: 6854 KB
Print Length: 570 pages
Publisher: Mountaindale Press (February 15, 2019)
Publication Date: February 15, 2019
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B07NFB3XX2
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#749 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
The obvious comparison for this story is the System Apocalypse by Tao Wong. Not only is it an earth based apocalypse but it has the Shop, a unique aspect of Tao's series. The details may be different but in that respect the stories are very similar, including the galactic interest in a new world joining the rest of the galaxy. A further similarity would be taking ownership of areas, although the means to do so are slightly different.In this comparison I think Tao's series is the superior story, giving us more fleshed out world and story line. It's unfortunate, and I wish the author had taken the time to do things differently so as to avoid this comparison.This book is heavy--very heavy--on exposition. There is dialogue but it is a very small part of the book, and is primarily between a few key characters. You can easily go a dozen or more pages without a single line of dialogue. This wouldn't be an issue if the story was entirely about a single person, with no one else to speak to in the world. Except it isn't, and there are multiple groups that could have used dialogue to further our understanding of what is happening in this new world.One outcome of so much exposition is that many times we are told what happens, instead of being shown what happens. Conversations are condensed into a line of exposition where we are told what happened during the conversation, instead of actually reading the conversation. This continues throughout the entire book, and it makes me think that a copy editor wasn't engaged to review the book before publishing. This is disappointing, especially with Mountaindale press behind him.The good: the LitRPG system is detailed and consistent. There are multiple skill trees, character progression and leveling. One issue is that the tables don't expand, or at least i couldn't get them to expand which meant i couldn't read the tiny text within them.The story arc is also good, giving our MC a primary goal to follow almost all the way through the book. The antagonist is never really fleshed out, and the reasons for his actions never shown including why he would try to contact certain galactic's towards the end of the story. If he hates the new system so much, why would he reach out to others that maximize the utility of the same system? Either way, he fulfills the evil antagonist role readily enough.The weird swearing, especially in the first half of the story was enough to take me out of the story. I grew up with frack in the previous decade, but this is way beyond frack into purely nonsensical swearing. It wasn't until the 44% mark that i actually felt connected to the story, the story line and the MC and part of the reason for that was the weird swearing. My recommendation for the next book is to either drop the weird swearing altogether, or making it actual swearing.Overall it's a good start for a new author in LitRPG, and I will probably pick up book 2.3.5/5 stars.
As others have noted this book HEEAAAVVVIILLLLYYYY borrows concepts and world building from Tao Wong's LitRPG System Apocalypse series (which if you haven't read already you should). Almost to the point that at times you could be forgiven for mistaking it for being some sort of collaboration or side book that takes place in the same "universe".Which honestly if it'd been well done I would've been mostly OK with. Its normal and common for authors to go poaching concepts and such from eachother's works to at least some degree and very very few ideas are both original and good. But this isn't that sort of book unfortunately.There are indeed good parts to it. The parts that are almost direct copies of Wong's stuff for instance like the premise (apocalyptic disaster caused by introduction of magic into the world), the world building (xp based leveling system, magic shops, magic spirit guide, magic effects on animals vegetation, etc.) are quite good. Where things start to fall apart is almost everything else. Such as dialog, the character's interactions with each other, fights/action scenes, etc.Other things such as the Main Character's incredibly weird swearing varies from cringe inducingly moronic to accidentally comical at times. Yes that is pretty harsh to say, and I did try to give the author some benefit of the doubt at first (I thought maybe English was a 2nd language to the author), but the MC does indeed use more common and fitting swearing at times without issue. Seeing someone called out as a "heavy water drinker" or a "frisbee bottom" as if those are ego crushing fightin' words was fiction poison to me.The final nail in the coffin to me for this book was the way the author would twist the character or story to wring some cheap action or drama out of it. The MC or other characters would be made to "forget" trivial information that they knew only a little while ago, lots of overly incredible convenient coincidences were being thrown at the MC to power him up or give him an edge, etc.Also almost everyone but the MC and his spirit guide are apparently either grossly unintelligent or incompetent at nearly everything too. Despite all the talk about self sufficiency and society holding people back (particularly early on in the book, despite the MC having crippling early on set rheumatoid arthritis its really society that is to blame for suppressing his competitive spirit that made him a failure in life you see...) apparently nothing happens without the MC or his guide being there to push it along or flat out make it happen. This really is one of those books that just doesn't hold up to well the more you read it.
A good series beginning. The general premise and apocalypse setup were reasonable, and the final battle scene contained sufficient suspense and consequence.Game mechanics - good enough though a bit too heavy on dialog boxes.Definitely a Deja Vu read - other authors have created something similar, though not as universally expansive. Lots of room for additional series books, though the overall ARC appears to be species survival.I was a bit put off by the MC - far too emotional in immediately journeying to find his family rather than building himself and his territory up. 99 timed out of 100, he'd die along the journey. In this case, he falls into the book's plot, and (fortunately) improves himself a bit. It took most of the book for him to realize the true depth of his responsibility...
To put it simply, this book went from an interesting beginning to something I can only describe as terrifyingly in need of editing and self-inspection.I would suggest that all the 3-page asidesabout how telepathy with a chimera is such a gift, and other assorted oddities, be completely removed. The human interaction and dialogue were both poorly written, and generally displeasing.The "Great darkness inside the protagonist" trope lost its flare in my tween years, but this gave me a completely undesirable flashback to those days.Better luck next time.
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